Man, they can't even look like a good team on a video game anymore.
While watching the Pirates endure a defeat a few weeks ago, some friends and I reminisced for a while on how many awful players have taken the field for the Pirates since this consecutive losing season streak began in 1993. We looked at old Opening Day lineups from a media guide and cringed at some of the names that came up. From that conversation, the question was posed: Who really was the worst at each position for the Pirates since this nightmarish streak began? The final product is before you now: the Pittsburgh Pirates All-Scrub Team.
As noted earlier, the players were selected only from the period starting in 1993 up to today. To make the process a little easier, we decided to use players' single seasons to compose the team; one player could theoretically be a major star one year, then he could play like a total scrub the next year and make this team. Among Andy Barlow, Phil George, Seth Thompson, and myself, the spots were voted in a democratic fashion. If ties occurred, we'd debate the "merits" of each potential candidate until we all agreed on one. To limit the selection of players to true scrubs and not guys who didn't do so great in a handful of games, we decided that potential choices had to play a substantial amount of games as a Bucco. For position players we set the mark at around 50 games with a reasonable amount of PAs/ABs, starting pitchers 10 starts, and relief pitchers 20 games; if someone with fewer than these games played so badly that he deserved consideration, he could still be chosen by the committee. So there's the background...let's get to the roster!
The Position "Players":
C: Keith Osik, 1999- .186 AVG, 2 HR, 13 RBI, .239 OBP, .251 SLG in 66 games
Keith Osik was the loveable backup catcher for many of Jason Kendall's years behind the dish with the Pirates. As many know all too well, Kendall was knocked out for the season in an incredibly gruesome fashion midway through the '99 season with a broken ankle. Osik would share catching duties for the rest of the season with fellow Pirates great Joe Oliver, who really didn't perform much better than Osik's horrific season. Osik even moved his scrub-level talent that season to the mound, allowing 4 runs in an inning of work on May 11 while being blown out by the Astros.
Dishonorable Mention: Tom Prince, 1993; Keith Osik, 2002
1B: Randall Simon, 2004- .188 AVG, 3 HR, 14 RBI, .266 OBP, .266 SLG in 69 games
Yeah, that sausage-beating guy. Simon brought a unique lefty stance to the plate, along with a fairly mediocre skill set that devolved into being just plain awful in 2004. If his walk rate in '04 was not as far above his career average as much as it was, his season could have literally driven loyal Pirate fans to insanity. Mercifully, Simon's tenure with the Bucs ended with his release on August 18 that year.
Dishonorable Mention: Mark Johnson, 1997; Kevin Young, 1993; Jeff Clement, 2010
2B: Pat Meares, 2001- .211 AVG, 4 HR, 25 RBI, .244 OBP, .304 SLG in 87 games
There really was not much that Pat Meares brought to the Pirates in 2001, besides a yearly salary of nearly $4 million. He was a -1.7 WAR (Wins Above Replacement) player. Any hitting stats were barely being buoyed by some singles, and most defensive metrics have him as a very below-average fielding second baseman. Nearly $4 million spent on an All-Scrub.
Dishonorable Mention: Abraham Nunez, 2004; Aki Iwamura, 2010; Warren Morris, 2001
Dishonorable Mention: Doug Strange, 1998; Andy LaRoche, 2008; Chris Stynes, 2004; Jose Castillo, 2007
Polcovich's brief career in the majors embodied the surprising nature of the 1997 "Freak Show" season. The small shortstop played fairly well at both the bat (.746 OPS) and the field that year. The next year, his game crashed to the ground like a large meteor, and what you see in his stat line is all you really need to know to inform you on how painfully awful he followed up his '97 season. An absolutely scrub-tastic performance by Mr. Polcovich.
Dishonorable Mention: Abraham Nunez, 1999; both Wilsons (Jack & Enrique), 2001; Ronny Cedeno, 2010
.JPG)
Dishonorable Mention: Mike Kingery, 1996; Turner Ward, 1999; Al Martin, 1998; Tike Redman, 2005; Ryan Church, 2010. Jermaine Allensworth sure tried hard to make this list as well.
An A+ cartoon by Phil Johnson.
The "Pitchers": Before starting this, we didn't know whether we should have only one starter and one reliever, a full starting rotation and a few relievers. Moving forward, what became increasingly obvious to us was that it would not be hard at all to make a full pitching staff comprised of the most awful pitchers the Pirates have sent to the mound over the past 18 years. Without further delaying this horrendous display of pitching, here's the All-Scrub rotation.
SP: Oliver Perez, 2006- 15 starts, 2-10, 6.63 ERA, 1.83 WHIP
Oliver Perez brought the heat. Lots of heat. What an adventure of a pitcher Oliver Perez was. In a year, he went from a 22 year old future superstar to a completely unpredictable arm. That was before this implosion of a season in which his time with the Pirates came to an end when he was traded as part of the deal to get Xavier Nady from the Mets. Ollie actually started two games for the Mets in the '06 NLCS, including the Game 7; that should show how banged up the Mets' rotation was at that point of the season. Though he would briefly bounce back, his recent seasons have exhibited his level of scrubitude that helped merit his selection to this team.
SP: John Van Benschoten, 2007- 9 starts (2 relief appearances), 0-7, 10.15 ERA, 2.15 WHIP
Not much more needs to be said about him outside of the statistics shown, which helped earn him a unanimous selection to the team. He was given three different chances to find success at the major league level ('07 being his second chance), and he failed in spectacular fashion each time. Even in '07 when he sported a 2.56 ERA in AAA (though, admittedly, with some not-so-great peripheral numbers), he could not at all translate any kind of minor league success to success in the big show. We can only speculate as to how his career would look had he been a first baseman instead...
SP: Charlie Morton, 2010- 10 starts, 1-9, 9.35 ERA, 1.89 WHIP
Another unanimous choice. I suppose Charlie can still technically play his way off the list, but I think his spot here is strongly secure. Last year, Morton showed some flashes of what could be a dominant, or at least serviceable, starting pitcher. That potential hit a giant concrete wall this season, unlike the pitches he threw, which often cleared that wall. Too many times Charlie Morton threw the fastball right in the hitter's wheelhouse; he was lit up to the tune of 12 HRs in 43 1/3 innings. When Charlie was working from the stretch, hitters crushed him at an OPS rate of 1.078. Yikes.
SP: Ryan Vogelsong, 2004- 26 starts (5 relief appearances), 6-13, 6.50 ERA, 1.62 WHIP
Ah, Ryan Vogelsong, the pitcher received from the Giants in the Jason Schmidt/John Vander Wal trade. While starting games in a Pirate uniform (as well as relieving, especially in '06), the man took the mound and repeatedly got battered by opposing hitters. Looking at the team from 2004, I don't know which is more pathetic: Ryan Vogelsong's performance that year or that no potential replacements were good enough to take his spot in the rotation.
SP: Jimmy Anderson, 2002- 25 starts (3 relief appearances), 8-13, 5.44 ERA, 1.64 WHIP
I think there were some worse seasons that probably deserved the final spot in the rotation, but this shows that there was a bit of a subjective, somewhat emotional element involved in the selections. Big Jimmy's B-R page lists him at 6-1, 195; most people who visit his page must think that has to be a typo. There really was not much to like about his pitching style: he was a finesse-type left-handed pitcher, but his walk rate was far above an acceptable rate for how he pitched. The year before, he put up mostly better stats, but posted a 9-17 record.
Dishonorable Mention: Chris Peters, 1999; Tom Gorzelanny, 2008; Omar Olivares, 2001. Paul Wagner's 5-16 record in 1995 was the worst winning percentage of a regular starter in the 1990s. Bob Walk's bad 1993 season received a vote from the committee as well, though factored at least in part into this vote was his work as a current Pirate broadcaster. Some good arguments could be made for more than a handful of other horrible Pirate hurlers not listed here.
The Relievers (or perhaps The Exacerbators)
RP: John Candelaria, 1993- 24 appearances, 0-3, 1 save, 8.24 ERA, 1.73 WHIP
You're reading correctly; it's one of the mainstays from the good times in the mid to late 1970s Pirates rotation. After a couple solid years of relief for the Dodgers, the 39 year old Candy Man came back to the 'Burgh and managed to make his final season a very forgettable one. Despite his great past success, his presence here almost seems fitting as another in a long line of past-their-prime pitchers that came to Pittsburgh and performed horribly.
RP: Jeff Wallace, 2000- 38 appearances, 2-0, 7.07 ERA, 2.13 WHIP
Looking at his stats gave me the most striking reminder of what I remembered seeing on TV and in person 10 years ago about him. He was an imposing-looking lefty on the mound who put up OK strikeout rates. Good. He also issued just under a hit and a walk per every inning he took the mound for his career. Scrub-worthy.
RP: Mike Garcia, 2000- 13 appearances, 0-2, 11.12 ERA, 2.47 WHIP
Does anyone remember Mike Garcia? Fortunately for me, I really don't. Despite having a solid amount of appearances less than I believed would comprise the substantial amount needed to be voted on the team, the voters thought his numbers were so bad in that period that he should not be left off the list. Way to go, Mike.
RP: Rich Loiselle, 2001- 18 appearances, 0-1, 1 save, 11.50 ERA, 2.50 WHIP
Those of us who remember the 1997 "Freak Show" Pirates know that a 25 year old Loiselle performed great as a closer with a good fastball and slider, and that he was a very legitimate Rookie of the Year candidate that season. After that season, his career took a steady plunge that ended in the big splatter of 2001 which knocked him out of the majors for good.
RP: Jonah Bayliss, 2007- 39 appearances, 4-3, 8.36 ERA, 1.83 WHIP
I never was a big fan of Jonah Bayliss' style of pitching, and neither were the other members of the committee. He had this weird sidearm angle at which he threw the ball. It generated quite a bit of velocity (up to mid-90s), but he did not have near the amount of control nor the great stuff to survive in the bigs. Bayliss could strike some guys out, but he walked and got hit around far too often to escape the All-Scrub Team.
RP: Masumi Kuwata, 2007- 19 appearances, 0-1, 9.43 ERA, 1.91 WHIP
You knew it was coming as much as we did. As great a career as Kuwata had pitching in his native Japan, GM Dave Littlefield signed a pitcher that was years past his prime and unequivocally overmatched against major league hitters. Everything about Kuwata's pitching and performance just screams Scrub; I'm just happy that all of us lived through the Masumi Kuwata Experience to be able to recall it today.
Dishonorable Mention: Wow, there have been so many horrendous relievers that have played for the Pirates over these past years that only naming a few seems to fall short of illustrating how many legitimate candidates there were for this collection of pitiful pitchers. Nevertheless, the following pitchers also received votes from the committee: Dan Miceli, 1996; Dave Wainhouse, 1997; Ryan Vogelsong, 2006; Donnie Veal, 2009 (his season in Pittsburgh as a Rule V pick).
Closer: Mike Williams, 2003- 40 appearances, 1-3, 25 saves in 30 opps., 6.27 ERA, 1.71 WHIP. Made 28 more appearances that year as a Phillie.
A very good debate ensued over whether Mike Williams or Jose Mesa's 2005 season should occupy the closer spot on the All-Scrub Team. Mesa blew more saves (8) and had a much worse record (2-8), but Williams' ERA was a full run and a half worse than Mesa's (4.76) (and if you look at his stats from that year, Williams wasn't unduly hurt by just one or two bad outings), and Williams' WHIP was worse as well (Mesa= 1.54). None of us could truly speak to Mesa as a person, but one of the voters distinctly remembers a bad experience he had as a fan interacting with Mike Williams. Plus, what epitomizes the Pirates' 17 (and most liable to be 18) year consective losing streak more than having an All-Star reliever with a 6.62 ERA at that point?
Dishonorable Mention: Matt Capps, 2009; Rich Loiselle, 1998
It's over. You can stop screaming and/or cringing in pain. Even if you don't completely agree with our choices, I hope you were as entertained by the names you got to revisit through this roster as much as we were when we debated and selected the players from the franchise we know and love. Our extreme thanks goes out to Baseball-Reference for providing all the in-depth statistics we examined to help make this list possible, and The New Bill James Historical Baseball Abstract for answering my question about Paul Wagner.
Posts
0 comments:
Post a Comment